I’m trying to remain in the closet, but I think lots of people have by now peeked in there and spotted me inside in any case.

I tell my colleagues and friends that “we don’t feel ready yet..”. How lame is that?! Everbody knows that I’ve previously worked as a paediatric therapist before, that we’ve been married 3 1/2 years and that I adore kids..

My boss knows – but I think she’s an ex-IF who had her kids at 37 and 43. I’ve told her about my m/c last Feb – something I didn’t have the guts to tell anyone else. She’s amazing and I’m so fortunate to work for her.

I’ve told my best friend (she has 2 beautiful girls) and have been regretting it ever since. We used to call each other every week and had a nice ‘kuier’ every other week. She is a very compassionate person and I think avoids me a bit nowadays to avoid the sadness she feels for me and DH. I do my best to chat about nice and cheerful things when we do meet up. That does seem to help a bit.

I’ve told my mother so that she would stop her scathing remarks, “Why are you waiting so long?? ..the sand in your hourglass is probably gone by now..” She’s making an effort to be nice about this now, even if she still ends up saying hopelessly insensitive things in the process.

Being infertile is probably just damned hard, whether you tell people or not.

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