I think something that often helped me to be successful in life (meaning as relatively successful/unsuccessful as I’m now), is my ability to focus on what’s important.

This has helped me lots in my studies and at work. I had good grades and my superiors tend to be very happy with me. If you know the comic strip Calvin and Hobbs, you’ll understand that it’s sad that I can relate to the life of Suzie Derkins!

The problem is that what’s important to me now, is to try and get that BFP! One could say I’ve completely lost my focus, but I think it has just shifted to this very elusive goal.

Today, I can’t think of anything but tomorrow’s first IUI. After that, the 2ww is unlikely to help me snap out of it for another 14 days. If I do get a BFP, well.. I can only imagine what the 9mw would be like!

I’m going to have to put some serious effort into getting some momentum going at work and in my studies!

I wonder whether this is the reason why girls are generally less successful at their careers?! Especially once that friggin’ biological clock starts ticking like a time bomb?

I’m hoping like crazy I can get my act together at work soon! Judging from my boss’s comments, I’ve still got some credits in my ‘productivity account’ at the moment due to having often worked hard and long hours here over the past two odd years – but for how long?

My previous corporate job made me feel like I’ve run away from home and joined the circus. So before starting ttc, I took a salary cut, got myself a job with a wonderful boss and a much nicer work environment.

In my previous job, I barely got round to seeing a dentist, leave alone an FS. My previous (male) boss used to say, “Just promise me you’re not going to fall pregnant anytime soon..” My new (female) boss has told me before, “I can’t wait for you to have kiddies, because I’m so curious to see whether they’d be more like you or more like your DH..” Yes, I’m sooo lucky – I just need those kiddies now!

I try not to think about this (especially in the 2ww), but all of this means that if I never get to have a LO, I’d be without much of a career and without LOs. Guess I’d better try to make sure I’d still be working for my really nice boss if (God forbid) that were happen.. So I’m really trying to get my scatter-brained thoughts a bit more together this week!

I’m testing on the 30th and writing an exam on the 4th Nov. So if I get that BFP, that will be one of my and the MaybeBaby’s first bonding experiences! Too bad my chances of having the LO by then is most likely a lot less than I’m going to have for that stupid exam..

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