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we’ll frame our laughter
next to nana’s bed
we’ll show you the world
from the top of Lion’s head

we’ll giggle at penguins
fly kites on the beach
there’s so much to learn, my little one,
there’s so much to teach

and there’ll be candles at birthdays
and ducks in the bath
a night light and Lego
and picnics and parties
and ice cream
and…

if only you’d stay with me
it would be so much fun, you’d see

us three
your daddy, me
and you

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The scan showed 5 promising follies: 2x 18mm, 1x 19mm, 1x 21mm and 1x giant of 27mm. So three excellent ones and two more that wants to play with. Lining is just over 7mm, which should be good enough.

Considering my age, endo and history, the FS says to go for it! So Ovidrel tonight and we’ll be trying to nail one (and hopefully only one, maybe two) of those follies with IUI on Friday.

Second time lucky would be bestest Christmas prezzie ever.

The good news is that 50 mg of Clomid was once again enough to make me fire off loads of follies.

Problem is that there seems to be 5 in the running this month, not counting a 24 mm ‘follie’ that is more likely a cyst. Things might change between now and Friday, but the FS won’t do IUI if there’s 5 or more follies and also wouldn’t want us to try on our own.

We could switch to IVF, but it seems like lots of effort and cost for ‘only’ 5 follies? – not wanting to sound ungrateful, of course. We’ll save about R10K on stimming meds, but the rest of the cost and effort is still the same.

The excellent news is that 100 mg of Clomid might be enough stims for me if we want to do IVF next cycle. The less good news is that I’m maybe a bit too hyper for us to try more Clomid IUIs in future.

Homework question to me and DH is whether to switch to IVF this month if there’s 5 Clomid follies at Wednesday’s scan? So we’ve got to ask ourselves: are you feeling lucky?

Someone sent me this poem today and I’ve been laughing ever since 😀

A Woman’s Poem
He didn’t like the casserole
And he didn’t like my cake,
He said my biscuits were too hard
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn’t perk the coffee right
He didn’t like the stew,
I didn’t mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned and
smacked the s#!t out of him…
Like his mother used to do.

I started Clomid on Monday, seeing the FS next Monday for CD10 scan. IUI should be around 20 November – if all the right ‘stars line up’ nicely (figure of speech, not a true belief) for me and DH this month.

Exam went well!

By 3 am the morning before, I’ve crammed through the important material and exercises and felt calm. Fortunately, nothing focuses me like the blind panic the day before an exam. It was also the first time in months I managed to forget for a few waking hours that I’m not pregnant (yet) – which was almost cool.

Studying an undergraduate degree part-time at 35 while working full-time is a penalty I’m paying for making a career change a few years ago. This was the 26th subject out of 30. The 4 that’s left is mostly programming and computer sciency stuff. I’m not sure how I’ll manage when I (hopefully soon) fall pregnant, but guess it’s best to only worry once it happens.

Had a lovely sleep yesterday afternoon and am feeling so much better today. 🙂

A dark and frantic night is looming ahead! I’m writing exam tomorrow at 8 am and simply couldn’t and can’t focus my scattered ttc brain on the study material. So here I am busy with a final monumental effort to try and cram the semester’s work into a brain that can’t be bothered during one night. 😯

Sheesh, I can’t remember the last time I’ve been forced to pull an all-nighter. I tend to be more organised and better prepared (i.e. more nerdy). Since I’m not preggy, I plan to at least overdose on coffee to my heart’s delight.

And my sister just called. She’s trying hard to be supportive and it’s not that I don’t appreciate it. But I’m starting to think the one thing that would make me relax on this ttc journey, is if I could shove a textbook on Stage 4 endo up the ass of everyone telling me to ‘just relax’!

Sorry about this vent – I’m feeling terribly grumpy and slightly jittery from the caffeine already. And this bad mood can only get badder during the night that stretches ahead.. 😦

PS: I promise to be nicer again tomorrow once the dust has settled on my side! Phew, what a whiny post that one is and I can surely only blame myself for not getting my rear in gear sooner.. 😐

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