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I’ve been back at work (from maternity leave) for over a week. It was long enough for me to realize that I’m going to take very long to adjust to this new setup.

I have a good enough job (if not the stuff movies or series are based on – hahaha, not even close!) and an amazingly understanding female boss. I found a daymother on Gumtree that I feel reasonably comfortable with (i.e. as comfortable as one could feel about a stranger you’re entrusting with the most precious gift you’ve ever received). I should be grateful.

It’s just that I always thought I’d be a stay-at-home mom like my mother. She married a kinda rich man though (my darling dad), while a geeky, kinda hunky scientist in an ancient bakkie stole my heart. I now realize that being a working girl is one thing, but leaving your long awaited baby girl with a total stranger is quite another.

So here I am, thinking some big-time jealous thoughts about The Other Woman… ’cause my baby angel’s daymother is the one who:

  • now gets to spend more time with my little angel during workweeks than I do.
  • gets to enjoy those Miss Sunshine smiles every weekday when my angel wakes up from a morning nap.
  • will have more opportunities in a given week than I will to comfort and hold her when she cries.
  • might be the one who gets to hear my angel laugh her first belly laugh, say her first word, see her take those first wobbly steps…

How is a mother’s heart supposed to adjust to all that? Ever?

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The sleep deprived blur that has been the first three months with my ‘babaliefie’ has been the most amazing adventure. I still can’t believe that I’m lucky enough to be the mommy of this pretty little baby angel.

My tiny baby is growing into my ‘big’ baby girl and she now weighs more than twice her take-baby-home weight, so about 5.5 kg.

During the past week or two, we seem to have turned a corner. She’s finally feeding less often – we have some 4 hour stretches now. As a result my ‘wakker klein rakker’ is sleeping a lot better, which is a very welcome change indeed! She’s now able to entertain herself for at least a few minutes when she’s awake and sitting in her swing or have a mobile or toy to look at, so my days are becoming less intense.

I think that if she could talk, these would have been the favourite sayings of my babaliefie during her first three months in the big wide world:

  • “I like to move it move it!” – She wanted to be rocked, carried around or bounced up and down most of her waking hours for the first 3 months. Much cooler (for baby) than just sitting there, I agree! She loves driving in the car, but usually cries when I stop at traffic lights or a stop sign – until the car moves again. Valid point, Liefietjie, standing still is just too boring, hey?
  • “Phew, that was close! I nearly nodded off. Luckily I managed to pry my eyes open just in time..” – There’s no telling what one could miss while your eyes are closed.
  • “Believe it, Mommy! I am indeed hungry again.” – I found it very strange when people would ask me when it’s time for her next feed. How would I know?! The interval between feeds was mostly between 30 mins and 2 hours, so the best answer to people asking that would be: probably soon.
  • “Wow, what an awesome day!” – She seems to love waking up in the morning and always (since she started smiling) gives me a dazzling smile when she opens her big blue eyes.

One thing is certain, Bill Gates doesn’t have enough money to make me an offer for my ‘babaliefie’! DH and I love her so.

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