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Warning: Ladies who have not (yet?!) been blessed with a pregnancy might find this post offensive, but it is really not my intention to sound ungrateful at all. I promise. It’s just that I’m not made of plastic and it would feel like a lie not to post this for the sake of, I don’t know, niceness?


A guy once took me on a romantic flight in a microlight airplane round the magnificent Cape Peninsula. It was early one beautiful, perfect, sunny Sunday morning.

I skipped breakfast as I optimistically thought motion sickness wouldn’t be such a problem if I didn’t provide my stomach with any ‘ammunition’.. Wrong! I spent most of that flight trying to empty my stomach as discreetly as possible into a sick bag. (Never saw the guy again..)

At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I find that to be the story of first trimesters. You start out on this wonderful high and then things really go downhill from there.

This time I’m actually not as nauseous as last time (when I was wondering 24/7 whether I’m still OK or whether to start running to the loo that very minute). This time round, I am however so tired that I wish I could just stay in bed all day. I am taking Asic (anti-nausea meds) religiously, but that’s probably contributing to my fatigue.

This morning, I dropped LG off at daycare and then decided to rather work from home. I somehow ended up on the bed and only woke up again THREE AND A HALF HOURS later – so lunch time really. (Possibly low on iron, as I was shivering underneath a thick winter blanket?) What a way to start a week. Now I’ll have to put in leave for today, I guess. I also put in leave for all of last week, so I’ll be running out of leave (and excuses!) soon!

To top it, I had the creepiest dream. I kept dreaming I was awake, but had locked-in syndrome or something. My mind kept trying to wake up my useless body and open my eyes, but just couldn’t. I only know it was a dream, since in the dream I was asleep on a train (really bizarre, hey Freud?).

Despite this ungracious rant, I have not had any bleeding or severe cramps (again unlike last time) and have so much to be grateful for. Most importantly, sucking at first trimesters is such a small inconvenience, compared to sucking at conceiving – I’ll always be painfully aware of that.

FAS (12-week one) is on Friday. Please, please could all be OK – and roll on second trimester!

Here is a list of thoughts that swirl around in the head of a primary IF after a spontaneous positive HPT test when she had already been blessed with a one perfect little baby:

  • This is too good to be true.
  • I’d better not get excited yet.
  • Life is terribly unfair. How could it be my turn again?
  • This could not be happening.
  • Could I ever love another baby with the incredible intensity that I love my first miracle with?
  • My first baby is my little miracle. I’m not prepared for her to have to share that podium with another baby yet.
  • I should not get too excited.
  • How could I not get too excited?!
  • It’s not my turn.
  • Oh no, how could anyone survive morning sicknes and pregnancy while you’re the mom of a baby?
  • I am so incredibly blessed.

This is way too good to be true.

  • I survived two Computer Science exams at the end of May! Yay! What a huge relief. So it’s 29 down, 1 to go – then I’m done with this degree. Studying has never been more difficult and I find that I’m regretting every hour I have to spend in front of a textbook. (So much for the saying: You’ll never regret any studying you’ve done..)
  • A week ago, we spent 10 days in the Kruger Park – relaxing, soaking up the balmy, sunny weather, enjoying nature and life. ‘Babaliefie’ loved watching the animals and seemed especially impressed by the zebras. It was a wonderful holiday.
  • We visited my sister and brother-in-law while we were on holiday. Pregnancy turned my petite sis into a beach ball with limbs and is still making her vomit in the mornings – at 34 weeks. But she is looking amazingly radiant, excited and reluctant to complain. We can’t wait to meet this brand new little member of our family clan.
  • This month, we have started trying to conceive baby number 2. I’m scared to mention this, as I know that should it not happen for us, I might prefer pretending towards others that it’s because we’re not trying yet (yeah right! – as if I’d rather wait till I’m like 45..). I’m scared of those feelings of being a failure should another pregnancy elude me – and let’s face it, my chances of struggling (again) are excellent.
  • Getting ‘babaliefie’ to sleep remains an eternal struggle. I love the way she wakes up in the morning though. As soon as her eyes flutter open, her whole face lights up. Her excitement when she realizes that the long, boring night is over is too delightful. “Whoohoo! It’s time to play and do stuff again!”
  • Yesterday was the shortest day of the year (winter solstice). I’m always very aware of this date, as I’m such a summer person! Although the summer is still far away, at least the sun is now ‘moving’ in the right direction.

LO was peacefully asleep at the start of today’s scan, allowing the doc to get a good look at my perfect little girl. I held my breath as I saw her lying dead still at first! However, she soon awoke and was her normal playful self, waving, dancing and amusing herself with the cord.

My thoughts are filled with dreams of my little angel. I constantly dream up new ideas for her nursery and our life together. Too bad we only have one room to decorate! Choices, choices..

I have overnight turned into one of those glowing, energetic preggy women I could only admire during the m/s weeks. I still wear ‘normal clothes’ most of the time, but I’m sure I’ll wake up with a proper bump any day now.

DH looks more excited by the day. It melts my heart when he speaks of his dreams, as he puts a laminated wooden floor in the nursery, makes baby furniture, plans how we’ll bath her, etc.

He says the sweetest things, like: “If I pave this part of the lawn, she’ll have some nice space for riding her bike some day..”

We’re so blessed.

Saw my new gynae on Friday for the 16w scan. Our cute little ?girl was as always playful, showing off and even somersaulting. I could almost hear her saying “Dream a little dream of me, mommy!”

She measured slightly small for 16w, but still on track. The placenta is apparently in front, so I can’t feel LO moving yet.

The relentless m/s has loosened its grip slightly and I’m starting to believe that I’m going to be rid of it again one day. (Hopefully before my boss starts thinking of firing me.) My dad said that my mom was terribly sick for ‘very long’ when she expected me. So guess I had it coming, hey?

Fortunately my DH has been incredibly supportive and loving and automatically took over most household tasks. I’ve been a bit quiet on the forum, since I’ve been spending lots of quality time lying in front of my fan and hoping to feel better. (New gynae said to try Gaviscon. Alas, I found it to be no miracle cure for m/s..).

I still wear my ‘normal’ clothes, but just bought the coolest pair of below knee-length, maternity jeans. Can’t wait to start wearing it!

What I’d like to know is this: Forty years have passed since mankind’s first steps on the moon. We have cellphones, smartphones, iPods, iPads and wheels on our luggage. There are skyscrapers with hundreds of floors and the Arabs have ski resorts in the desert.

Yet there’s still no cure for morning sickness?! You’ve got to be kidding! Speaking of which, Vomifene is a bad joke – it knocks me out for an hour or two, but then I wake up nauseous again. So it doesn’t even help me to get some proper sleep.

It is too much to ask for some safe miracle drug? Wthout any side-effects. Thoroughly tested and guaranteed to not have any effects on my kiddie. Hmm, or his/her children.. or his/her children’s children?

Why is still called morning sickness anyway? We might as well still refer to the Titanic as ‘unsinkable’. I certainly find it unbearable 24/7, although it is admittedly even worse every morning.

Yep, at 14 weeks I’m still not getting a break. After this morning’s puking session I had enough. I called work and told them I’m taking annual leave this whole week and that’s it. I’ve taken five or six days of sick leave up to now, scattered over the past few weeks, but how lame is to call in sick at 10:30 with morning sickness?? (It begs the question, why not drag your ass over here for the afternoon shift, at least?)

Workwise, it doesn’t seem better to take anti-nausea meds that basically shuts down most brain centers (apart from the nausea centre), yet activates the sleep centre..

Thank goodness for rice, bananas and Hillcrest’s frozen raspberries. Without these wonder foods, I don’t know how I’d have survived. Ginger, mint, toast.. ugh – by now I feel like puking just thinking of those..

Sorry for this ungracious vent. 😦 I’m sure the end is in sight, right?

I always envied pregnant women their nausea, since I thought it would be so wonderful to be and feel pregnant. I really don’t want to sound ungrateful! But by now I would actually not mind feeling a bit human again.

Is the 13 week scan awesome or what!? Our ‘babaliefie’ was dancing around looking way cute.

It looks like a girl, but it’s too early to be sure. It would be the first granddaughter for both grannies (only grandsons so far), so the possibility will certainly generate excitement..

The Down’s risk calculated to only 1/3000 (out of 85% of 1/200 for my age – if I understand all correctly). So I think I’ll skip the amnio despite being over 35. I wouldn’t choose to terminate in any case. Hope that sounds levelheaded.

Must say, I had a rough week and I feel beaten by the m/s. I e-mailed my FS just now to ask about Vomiphene. I think I’ve lost about 2 kilo’s recently, barely did any work this week and lately had way too many intimate moments with the porcelain in the bathroom. It’s weeks since I’ve had more than 5 hours of sleep at night – terribly nauseous at night too. And I expected things to get better this week!

I’ve decided to stay on ADs for the recommended 6 month period (till end Feb), which makes me reluctant to take more meds and possibly becoming a study in multiple drug interactions.. although I know it should be safe. Sigh.

My rickety, loose hips are holding out OK at the moment, which is a huge relief. Pilates classes are doing wonders! I also bought an SI support belt which is great for when I need to walk ‘a lot’, e.g. go shopping.

Most important thing is that baby is happy and healthy! We’re so grateful.

I’m back from a holiday and back at work (uhmm, at least physically). Hope you all had a lovely Christmas too.

Just had my 8w 4d scan and our ‘babaliefie’ is right on track and has a beautifully strong heartbeat with 175 bpm!

I’ve been spotting non-stop since the previous scare when we lost one twinnie, so I tried to contain my excitement during the holiday. This was easier said than done around my ecstatic mother, MIL and other delighted family members.

Shame, at my family’s ‘Kersboom’ on the eve of the 24th when we announced the news, my mother produced the cutest baby things that she bought.. wait for it.. shortly after DH and I got engaged five years ago. Not married. Engaged!

‘Fortunately’ the horrid nausea was and is at least a pretty reassuring reminder that there’s a little babaliefie on board (that doesn’t like driving, vitamins, brushing of teeth, eating – especially eating Christmas dinner, not eating,..). It even wakes me up at least twice every night. I pack myself a ‘midnight snack’ box before bed.

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