You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘studies’ tag.


Note: I’m cheating by publishing this post-dated post 6 weeks late..


Sorry for being so quiet! Life is a little hectic at the moment. I write a pretty stressful exam next week. My little girl is now an absolutely delightfully lively and inquisitive toddler – who still wakes up an average of twice per night. We’re busy with final negotiations that will probably lead to us relocating to Polokwane in January. And then there’s work too, although I’m hoping to become a SAHM in Polokwane next year! Yay!

So to be honest, I barely have time to remember that I’m pregnant! Apart from the pregnancy symptoms and the fact that I sometimes need to use crutches to get around due to PGP (which is pretty embarrassing as I’m normally very active; also, I don’t even have a bump yet!).

My darling little boy has in the past week started kicking and wiggling to help remind me to dream of him and start loving him, which is wonderful! “I’m here too, mommy! Meeting you all is going to be awesome!”

His growth was on the 50th percentile at the last scan. The scan went fine.. until the doc said not to worry about it at the moment, but LB has bilateral 5mm choroid plexus cysts in his tiny brain. Well, who would ever worry about cysts in their baby’s brain?!!

My research on this showed that all is truly likely to be absolutely fine, although he has an increased risk of having trisomy 18 (which would make survival beyond his first year unlikely). I decided to try and not entertain that thought until our next FAS appointment in November. In my heart, I really believe that our little miracle will be fine.

Phew, I really can’t complain about being bored at the moment – lots of challenges and adventures await me and my family. It’s stressful, but it also makes me feel very alive.

Advertisements
  • I survived two Computer Science exams at the end of May! Yay! What a huge relief. So it’s 29 down, 1 to go – then I’m done with this degree. Studying has never been more difficult and I find that I’m regretting every hour I have to spend in front of a textbook. (So much for the saying: You’ll never regret any studying you’ve done..)
  • A week ago, we spent 10 days in the Kruger Park – relaxing, soaking up the balmy, sunny weather, enjoying nature and life. ‘Babaliefie’ loved watching the animals and seemed especially impressed by the zebras. It was a wonderful holiday.
  • We visited my sister and brother-in-law while we were on holiday. Pregnancy turned my petite sis into a beach ball with limbs and is still making her vomit in the mornings – at 34 weeks. But she is looking amazingly radiant, excited and reluctant to complain. We can’t wait to meet this brand new little member of our family clan.
  • This month, we have started trying to conceive baby number 2. I’m scared to mention this, as I know that should it not happen for us, I might prefer pretending towards others that it’s because we’re not trying yet (yeah right! – as if I’d rather wait till I’m like 45..). I’m scared of those feelings of being a failure should another pregnancy elude me – and let’s face it, my chances of struggling (again) are excellent.
  • Getting ‘babaliefie’ to sleep remains an eternal struggle. I love the way she wakes up in the morning though. As soon as her eyes flutter open, her whole face lights up. Her excitement when she realizes that the long, boring night is over is too delightful. “Whoohoo! It’s time to play and do stuff again!”
  • Yesterday was the shortest day of the year (winter solstice). I’m always very aware of this date, as I’m such a summer person! Although the summer is still far away, at least the sun is now ‘moving’ in the right direction.

The quiet little cherub that was content to view the world from a particular spot on the bed or floor is now a distant memory. During shopping trips and outings, my little ‘babaliefie’ is now a squirming little octopus that’s magically able to reach far beyond what seems humanly possible.

At 9 months, my little fairy is already 75 cm long (as long as the average 13 month old baby girl), yet weighs in at a petite 8.3 kg. She loves her food and is also drinking 2 to 4 bottles a day. She seems happy, healthy and (if you ask me!) gorgeous.

She’s never slept well, but we’ve had an exceptionally trying month. Since breastfeeding came to a halt (due to the downward spiral of lack of demand and lack of supply), she started waking up at night and would simply fail to settle again, sometimes for as long as two or three hours! If I would turn on the light, she’d be so incredibly happy and excited to see me. Exasperated, I started giving her a bottle in the night and that seems the only way to get her asleep again. (She has NO teeth yet, so at least I’m not worried about the effect of this on her teeth..)

It’s also been harder to get her to fall asleep. Lately she pushes herself into sitting when I put her down in her cot at night – and then she just wants to play some more! I’ve come to view the time it takes to get her drowsy as our special time together though, so I don’t mind ‘working’ a bit to get her asleep.

I’ve been quiet lately as juggling motherhood, work and part-time studies is taking its toll. After a bad night, I sometimes feel as if I’m hanging onto sanity for dear life! DH is talking about ttc number two, I feel exhausted just thinking about that.

Still, I can never wait to pick up my ‘babaliefietjie’ from daycare in the afternoon. It’s my favourite moment of the day – seeing her little face again after all those long hours apart.

DH and I love her with wild abandon, this perfect, funny little angel of ours.

My little star is weighing about 5 kg, so twice her weight on take-baby-home day. I love breastfeeding her. To me there’s something almost holy in those intimate moments when she’s drinking quietly and contently, her tiny body pressed against mine. (If we can ignore those fussy evening feeds for a minute here!)

As for sleeping, uhm, well.. stars are brightest at night, right? She takes after her never-tired daddy.. She still wakes up every two hours to visit Mommy’s Diner, i.e.at roughly 12 am, 2 am, 4 am and again at 6. During the day, LO can go without sleep for up to about 6 hours! I often spend half an hour getting her to sleep – then after 15 minutes of sleep, she opens those big blue eyes, gives me a big grin and wants to be held, carried around, entertained or whatnot again!

She hates dummies, Telament drops, vaccinations, those frequent stomach cramps and sitting in the same spot for long.

She loves baths, her swing, her daddy, gripe water, lullabies and mommy’s breast (a restaurant, snack bar, pacifier and pillow all in one!).

I still spend a significant amount of time on work tasks, or stressing about work deadlines even though I’m on maternity leave till mid November. I’ve dropped out of my UNISA studies this semester – finding no time for the assignments. Sigh.

So in short, LO is doing well, DH is still the proudest dad ever and I’m the lucky, if utterly exhausted mommy of the most amazing little one.

On Friday, the gynae simply shook his head and said he was giving up on getting a nice picture of our ‘woelwatertjie’.. Every photo was just a blur of activity!

Oh dear, I’m starting to wonder whether LG is going to be bouncing off the walls once she’s a baby too – just in bigger rooms?

“Hey, now listen to mommy, Liefie – a little sleepyhead baby (like mommy was) is way cute too!”

At least the gynae managed to take her measurements and she is right on schedule – 761g and perfect.

I’m writing a UNISA exam on Friday, so maybe when I get to relax more after the exam (not that I really feel stressed out), so will LG. However, since each of the 3 docs who scanned her have commented on her very, very high activity level (ever since her 8w scan), I wonder whether we are in for a bit of a challenge here!

I’m starting to practise saying the following phrase in my sleep: “Your daughter clearly takes after you, Daddy. It’s your turn to get up..”

Exam went well!

By 3 am the morning before, I’ve crammed through the important material and exercises and felt calm. Fortunately, nothing focuses me like the blind panic the day before an exam. It was also the first time in months I managed to forget for a few waking hours that I’m not pregnant (yet) – which was almost cool.

Studying an undergraduate degree part-time at 35 while working full-time is a penalty I’m paying for making a career change a few years ago. This was the 26th subject out of 30. The 4 that’s left is mostly programming and computer sciency stuff. I’m not sure how I’ll manage when I (hopefully soon) fall pregnant, but guess it’s best to only worry once it happens.

Had a lovely sleep yesterday afternoon and am feeling so much better today. 🙂

A dark and frantic night is looming ahead! I’m writing exam tomorrow at 8 am and simply couldn’t and can’t focus my scattered ttc brain on the study material. So here I am busy with a final monumental effort to try and cram the semester’s work into a brain that can’t be bothered during one night. 😯

Sheesh, I can’t remember the last time I’ve been forced to pull an all-nighter. I tend to be more organised and better prepared (i.e. more nerdy). Since I’m not preggy, I plan to at least overdose on coffee to my heart’s delight.

And my sister just called. She’s trying hard to be supportive and it’s not that I don’t appreciate it. But I’m starting to think the one thing that would make me relax on this ttc journey, is if I could shove a textbook on Stage 4 endo up the ass of everyone telling me to ‘just relax’!

Sorry about this vent – I’m feeling terribly grumpy and slightly jittery from the caffeine already. And this bad mood can only get badder during the night that stretches ahead.. 😦

PS: I promise to be nicer again tomorrow once the dust has settled on my side! Phew, what a whiny post that one is and I can surely only blame myself for not getting my rear in gear sooner.. 😐

I think something that often helped me to be successful in life (meaning as relatively successful/unsuccessful as I’m now), is my ability to focus on what’s important.

This has helped me lots in my studies and at work. I had good grades and my superiors tend to be very happy with me. If you know the comic strip Calvin and Hobbs, you’ll understand that it’s sad that I can relate to the life of Suzie Derkins!

The problem is that what’s important to me now, is to try and get that BFP! One could say I’ve completely lost my focus, but I think it has just shifted to this very elusive goal.

Today, I can’t think of anything but tomorrow’s first IUI. After that, the 2ww is unlikely to help me snap out of it for another 14 days. If I do get a BFP, well.. I can only imagine what the 9mw would be like!

I’m going to have to put some serious effort into getting some momentum going at work and in my studies!

I wonder whether this is the reason why girls are generally less successful at their careers?! Especially once that friggin’ biological clock starts ticking like a time bomb?

I’m hoping like crazy I can get my act together at work soon! Judging from my boss’s comments, I’ve still got some credits in my ‘productivity account’ at the moment due to having often worked hard and long hours here over the past two odd years – but for how long?

My previous corporate job made me feel like I’ve run away from home and joined the circus. So before starting ttc, I took a salary cut, got myself a job with a wonderful boss and a much nicer work environment.

In my previous job, I barely got round to seeing a dentist, leave alone an FS. My previous (male) boss used to say, “Just promise me you’re not going to fall pregnant anytime soon..” My new (female) boss has told me before, “I can’t wait for you to have kiddies, because I’m so curious to see whether they’d be more like you or more like your DH..” Yes, I’m sooo lucky – I just need those kiddies now!

I try not to think about this (especially in the 2ww), but all of this means that if I never get to have a LO, I’d be without much of a career and without LOs. Guess I’d better try to make sure I’d still be working for my really nice boss if (God forbid) that were happen.. So I’m really trying to get my scatter-brained thoughts a bit more together this week!

I’m testing on the 30th and writing an exam on the 4th Nov. So if I get that BFP, that will be one of my and the MaybeBaby’s first bonding experiences! Too bad my chances of having the LO by then is most likely a lot less than I’m going to have for that stupid exam..

Calendar

October 2017
M T W T F S S
« Dec    
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031