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About two weeks ago I squeezed into my sexiest pair of jeans again. It was the first time I wore them since I fell pregnant with my ‘babaliefie’. I’ve been wearing most of my old clothes again for some time now – sadly, including my tiny bra’s. (How I miss those exuberant breastfeeding boobs!) My weight has been back to my pre-pregnancy weight for a few weeks now.

When I looked at myself in my trusty pair of jeans, I realized that my body felt as if it had never been pregnant. It’s a strange thought. My baby angel is living proof that my whole life has been turned upside down, yet my body had forgotten all about it already. (OK, all those spider veins that appeared on my legs during pregnancy tell a story of their own, but still, they don’t make my body feel any different.)

I guess I’m lucky. On the other hand, I miss the softness of my post-pregnancy body. Since I’m thin as a rake, I felt wonderfully sexy and curvy during pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yet, it also feels nice and familiar to have my own ass back again. To be ‘just me’ again.

Later on that skinny jeans day, I almost forgot to pick up my baby angel at daycare! It’s the first time that my mind was so focused on other things that auto-pilot driving caused me to miss the turnoff to the daymother. I felt guilty for a few moments, but then I realized I didn’t have to. It was as wonderful as always to see my baby’s face again when I arrived at the daymother. It’s just that I finally seem able to immerse myself in my own life again to some extent – that is my life away from my precious baby.

Someday I hope to teach my baby angel how to fly high, high, high and as far away as she needs to in order to reach her dreams. It’s the most beautiful, but also the saddest thought.

It’s reassuring to realize there should still be a ‘me’ left behind on the day that my beautiful baby leaves the nest. A doting mother, yet someone with some hopes and dreams of her own.

DH and I took LO to the paediatrian on Tuesday for her 6-month check-up. She was 5.5 months old, but I wanted to get the visit over before we started work on Wednesday.

My word! Has my beautiful baby grown since her 3-month visit! She’s about 71 cm tall, so above the 99th percentile. Her weight is slightly below average at 6.65 kg (about 30th percentile), so she is one tall, dainty fairy.

I was a bit worried she might be too thin, but I suppose she wouldn’t have grown so tall if she were malnourished or getting too little calories? Also, apart from a slight cold once and recurrent hayfever, she has never been ill, which must be a good sign.

The doctor looked at my DH and myself and basically said that he’s not concerned about her weight – it’s clearly in our genes, lampposts that we both are.

The rest of the visit went very well. ‘Liefietjie’ played along nicely and showed the doc what a clever, healthy and bouncing baby she is.

The past 4 nights, I woke between 2am and 4am due to hunger pains! So I think I’m getting into the habit of raiding the fridge every night. How unlike me! And by the time I wake up for breakfast, I’m ready to stuff my face again!

I’m simply feeling hungry and thirsty all the time. I even packed myself more lunch today than I’ve packed my tall, ripped DH.

So last night whilst wolfing down a packet of Simonsberg smoked salmon cream cheese (yum!), I asked Dr Google for his opinion and found this interesting (if long and geeky) article on progesterone, weight loss and diet: research article on influence of menstrual cycle on weight and diet

My FS prescribed Utrogestan during my 2ww as progesterone supplement, so it must be this hormone that’s cranking up my appetite to such monsterous proportions?

Since I suspect I’ve had multiple very early losses already (the 4 or 5 luteal phases of between 15 and 25 days I’ve had in the past) I’m hoping that the extra progesterone’s going to help out this month’s little bean. And maybe I’ll even put on some weight. 🙂

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